The Terrible Two's

I have a toddler for sale. Heck, you can have him for free!

I did survive the terrible two's once already. I'm sure I did 'cuz I'm still here and so is Mercury. I'm afraid I'm not going to fare so well this time around though.

Neptune has hit them full force. And he doesn't turn two until next month! It hardly seems fair I have to deal with this now. He went from super lovable, good natured baby to tyrant over night. I had no warning. I kept waiting for it to wear off. And it's not. Which leaves me with only one conclusion. We are in the deep, dark, stinking hole of the terrible twos. Hey, at least I appreciate Mercury much more now. His temper tantrums seem like a fly buzzing around my head compared to the hammer bashing my toe every 3 1/2 minutes of the day, that Neptune's feel like.
He hits, with a fist. Not an open hand. Where did he learn that? He pulls my hair. He bites any exposed flesh he can find. And there have been a few times when I have turned my back on him he's ran up and bit a butt cheek (love that he's tall enough to grab that part of me and bite). Now if that isn't lovely in public! Remind me, just how long does it take for them to grow outta this phase? 'Cuz I don't think I can make it much longer.

Please, send alcohol and chocolate. For me. Not the kid. Thanks.