Bad Bad Bacon

OMG that's all I can come up with that could have caused such a nasty reaction. I was fine all day yesterday. FINE! Finally before bed I decided to warm up three pieces of leftover bacon. About five minutes after eating it my tummy starting feeling a little...strange. Then Neptune woke up an hour later. I was in the middle of changing his diaper and had to tell Jupiter to take over as I bolted to the bathroom and proceeded to empty my guts into the toilet. Good thing I scrubbed it while the kids were bathing last night. I hate staring into a dirty toilet. And yes, I was thinking that the whole time I was ridding myself of the bacon. Then of course Neptune does not want to go back to bed. But I played the sick card, slept on the couch and made Jupiter take care of him. I horrible, huh? I did end up with Mercury sleeping on the couch with me at some point during the night. Then this morning, I'm fine. I'm glad it didn't last longer than that. But how strange. Needless to say I will be throwing all that leftover bacon away when I get home today. And then..Jupiter as the nerve to ask me if I'm pregnant. Uhhh he had the Big V months ago and I'm in medically induced menopause. So no, I'm not pregnant. Then he says, "I'd appreciate it if you and the guys you sleep with would use a condom. I've already got two, I'm not raising another one." Are all men like this? Ugh. Like just 'cuz I barf I gotta be knocked up. Men sure are special creatures. That's for sure.